Friday, March 04, 2005

Chapter 5: The Flubsome Institute Chronicles

This is chapter 5 of the Flubsome Institute Chronicles. For new readers, this is satire. Please read Chapters 1-4 found in the archives along the side of the page.

We poke fun at certain Indiana political figures. But of course, we do so with the utmost of respect and certainly no ill intent.

Quick Review: Our super bloggers have discovered a secret document taken from the musty archives of the Flubsome Institute by a mole we can only describe as, "The Leprechaun." (Don't laugh now...Deep Throat was taken.) The Flubsome Institute closely resembles the Hudson Institute, a political stinktank where former administration officials were very, very gainfully employed. Our super bloggers have been using their top secret decoder rings taken from their Lucky Charms cereal boxes and have been deciphering the secret documents. Chapters 1-4 outline the Flubsome's secret strategies that mysteriously resemble the legislative session unfolding before our very sorry eyes here in Indiana.

Decoded from top secret smuggled documents:

Strategies for the Demise of Public Education (continued)

It's about the Efficiency Stupid

This part of our plan is modeled after James Carville's now famous battle cry, "It's about the economy stupid!" Since this slogan is already taken we will modify it to... "It's about the efficiency stupid." We will start by modeling our plans after the only thing we know how to do, which is take an already successful organization like the Hudson Institute and be in charge of it for a while. We don't want anyone to know that our future top administrative officials in Indiana government will have business experience that was not quite as innovative, bold and reform-minded as people think. But since we have never held political office and we know very little about the messy, stable, slow-changing democracies that protect us from reform-minded zealots, we will have to go with what we know. We do know how to be in charge of a business for a while. Therefore we will spout platitudes about "efficiency, reform and change."

Use bold, strong, aggressive language to show we mean business

When normal political checks and balances envisioned by our forefathers create situations where bills we favor are not passed, we will use bold terrorist language to express our disdain. We will accuse the legislature of , "car bombing."

Even when we agree with people we will say things like, "we are violently in agreement."

This way we will cover up for our lack of political skill and try to keep the enemy on the defensive. By using such war metaphors we can control the soundbites and avoid ever having to tell the public what our vision for public education really is. Which leads us into another strategy....

Try to avoid at all costs, telling the public what our vision for public education really is

By keeping everyone on the defensive we may avoid having to explain what we are trying to "reform" to. We just know that schools are slow-changing bureaucracies and that must make them bad. Since in business, all things slow changing are bad, this must apply to our political institutions, of which public education is one.

Oh rats. Our pencils are running low here on the Flubsome Institute Paper. We will not be able to continue adding to our strategies for the demise of public education until our Direktor gives us permission to get another pencil from the cabinet.

We will return to chapter 6 at a later date.....

(Insert scary music....fade to black) :-)

All in good fun everyone.

Have a good weekend.


At Friday, March 04, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm a reform minded zealot, you insensitive clod!



At Friday, March 04, 2005, Blogger Indiana Public School Superintendent said...

Those can be good sometimes.

Depends on what they are reforming and what they intend to reform into!


At Saturday, March 05, 2005, Blogger EdWonk said...

And Don't Forget To Vote For Your Local Incumbent! ;)

At Saturday, March 05, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Using words like zealot and clod in the same sentence qualifies for you to be on Daniels education team!

At Monday, March 07, 2005, Anonymous The Rock said...

I think it's intersting the Governor Daniels wanted to bring jobs back to Indiana. Then, he accepted a $150,000 Monoco Coach as a donation to do his tour of duty to Hooisers. Finally, last week Monaco Coach laid off 150 workers! Great job Mitch! You're bringing the jobs back to Indiana!

At Wednesday, March 09, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Monaco Coach is not even an Indiana company -- it is headquartered in Coburg, Oregon with only a production facility in Indiana.

At Wednesday, March 09, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What could Daniel's personal motivation be for the "demise of Indiana public education" -- how does he or his family benefit?

I'm struggling to figure out why he would want education to be less bureaucratic and faster moving.

What's in it for him?


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