Thursday, March 10, 2005

Governor Now Opposes Colts' Stadium

In a stunning reversal, the Governor of Indiana has announced that his administration now opposes the construction of the new Colts' stadium.

Governor Mitch Daniels explained his conversion, "Well, it has been a terrible burden on my conscience ever since my state-of-the-state address. During my speech I got a standing ovation for saying....Instruction is more important than construction. "

He continued, "I have been consumed with guilt ever since. We knew all along that we were planning to raise taxes for a new football stadium and at the same time cut funds to hundreds of school districts. I realized that continuing to support the Colts' stadium may give people the impression that Construction is actually more important than Instruction. We just can't afford to be viewed as hypocrites."

The Governor then referred all further questions to the new Indiana Superintendent for Public Entertainment, Mrs. Peg My Funmeter, Mrs. Funmeter, formerly an actuary with the actuarial firm, Yawn & Knapp, clarified the Governor's new position, "We just couldn't see spending hard earned tax money on professional football entertainers who consistently "lag behind" the New England Patriots. To be consistent, the Governor's official position must remain, " if you aren't number one, then you are lagging behind."


At Saturday, March 12, 2005, Anonymous NEA Observer said...


"The NEA supports high standards in sports stadiums. Access to a quality stadium is the key to the uniquely American promise of equal opportunity for all.

Millions of high school graduates will be seeking the quality jobs avaliable at professional sport stadiums - soda fountain specialist, popcorn professional, refuse removal engineer.

The National Education Association has consistently sought to guarantee every child an equal opportunity to succeed in our nation's sports stadiums."

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