Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Press Conference: "My Dog Has Fleas"

The Super Bloggers have just discovered that later this week, government officials intend to finally unveil their business model for America's system of public education.

Anonymous sources have agreed to give us a sneak peek at America's future business model for education.

Our government sources explained, "We have studied many of the most successful businesses in over the last few years, and one of the businesses that has impressed us the most, is the Shipshewanna Flea Market in the heart of Amish country. There is no cumbersome oversight, no bureaucracy, no overhead and no need for excessive rules and regulations. It is very efficient. Plus, you can find some really neat leather belts and belt buckles there, as well as pink flamingos and certain hard-to-find ceramic pottery items. We especially like the black velvet paintings of Elvis. Another value-added benefit is the fact that the responsibility is left to the consumer. No need for government oversight - it's every buyer for himself. For example, I had to look hard to find the high quality paintings on black velvet. Especially the ones of Elvis in the white jumpsuits. They're my favorites. Since I found them first - they're mine - all mine."

"We believe that this rich tapestry of colorful private and public schools, freed from bloated bureaucracy, and set against the backdrop of parental choice and fueled by vouchers," will lead us into a new era of public school choice," said the government.

"Besides," he added, "We agree with a lot of folks on this one, we don't need good schools everywhere, we only need them where my children go. If I find them first, then they are mine - all mine."

On the condition that their names be withheld, sources reported that since it is a "dog-eat-dog business model," the press conference would open with the song, "My Dog Has Fleas."

3 Comments:

At Saturday, March 12, 2005, Anonymous Amish citizen said...

I find your comments about the Amish to be racist and demeaning.

 
At Sunday, March 13, 2005, Anonymous ISTA Watcher said...

From ISTA --

Current Expenditures for K-12 Schools Per Student Enrollment (2002-2003)

#1. District of Columbia $13,355
#20. Indiana $8,254
#51. Utah $4,907

Average Salaries of Public School Teachers, 2002-2003

#1. California $56,283
#17. Indiana $44,966
#51. South Dakota $32,416

 
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