Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Breaking News: Indiana consolidates

As if moving to daylight savings time wasn't a big enough deal to Hoosiers, Indiana is now considering consolidation of smaller school districts in order to eliminate administrative costs. Under legislation passed this session, Indiana will be forming study committees to look into consolidating school districts with less than 1500 students.

In creating this new "cult of efficiency" the state executive branch now considers efficiency to be a "end value" instead of a means to an end.

The Super's top notch "mole" in the statehouse has received another heads-up on a pending announcement from the governor's office regarding further consolidation.

The Super's Blog has learned that Indiana and Kentucky are going to consolidate as states and create a new consolidated state called, "Indyucky."

"Indyucky promises to be a new and improved and clearly more efficient way of doing business," gushed the governor's staffers, "we anticipate being able to eliminate fifty-percent of the legislative positions and most of the state administrative offices."

"The governor is tickled pink over how efficient this will be."


At Tuesday, May 10, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since you referenced the Daylight Savings Time issue, consolidating the two states would make a lot of sense. Since Kentucky is already in the Eastern Time Zone, it would only make sense for all of Indyucky to be on Eastern Time.

Also, to be fair the people in the western part of the state currently known as "Indiana", many western counties could be spun off and sold to Illinois, thus creating a huge (or at least pretty big) inflow of much needed cash for the new consolidated state. This would enable the western counties to be in the Central time zone, which I think they would really appreciate.

At Tuesday, May 10, 2005, Blogger Indiana Public School Superintendent said...

At that point, we could rename Illinois...."Illannoyed"


At Wednesday, May 11, 2005, Blogger Joe Thomas said...

Administration costs go down a little, transportation costs go sky high. With the price of oil at record high levels, who could realistically be thinking of merging districts?

Is this being sponsored by oil lobbyist?

At Monday, October 10, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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