Tuesday, October 04, 2005

How to tell in 10 seconds or less if you are a recovering republican.

The last person shuffled slowly, head down, into to the dimly lit church basement and plopped into the last unoccupied metal folding chair in the semi-circle. Everyone present quietly acknowledged each other and waited for the leader to begin. Clearly his throat, the weekly leader began the meeting. "My name is Rush Limberger and I am a recovering republican." And so it continued around the circle.

The Super has recently discovered that there has been an alarming increase in this phenomenon occurring around the nation, and especially in Indiana. Therefore, the Super has developed a Galledup Poll that is based on an almost scientifically accurate survey of random voters. Using this poll, the Super has developed a proven 10- second method for determining if YOU are a recovering Republican. Coming soon, in a Reader's Digest near you...

Take the Quiz:

1. In the last year have you privately listened to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, and/or Glen Beck at least once a week? 3 points

2. In the last 3-6 months have you found your shaking hands switching over to NPR when your buddies were not in the car? (It's ok to admit it - you are safe here.) 3 points

3. Even though you don't agree with NPR politics, have you privately began to enjoy the thoughtful discourse instead of testosterone-infused yelling and screaming and cutting off guests on the phone lines? (Not to mention the mostly commercial free news and original programming.) 1 point

4. Have you started to wonder if there is a political party that really represents you? (It's ok to admit it - there are recovering democrats too.) 2 points

5. Have you started to wonder what would happen if a third party emerged, what would they be like? 1 point



If you scored:

8-10 points: You are clearly a recovering republican and you will need the 12-step plan for recovering republicans that will be unveiled here in due time.

5-7 points: You are a republican having second thoughts

0-5 points: Not sure what you are

In a few days, The Super will unveil the eagerly anticipated, Indiana-specific version of the 10 point survey. Stay tuned.

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