"Driving More Money into the Classroom"
The Republicans announced today the rollout of their new national education initiative titled, "Driving More Money Into the Classroom."
Chief Spokesperson for the Republicans, C.D.L. Laidlaw, revealed the highlights of the new initiative.
"We like the way Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels has instituted his 'cult of efficiency' in Indiana and so we have closely modeled our national transportation plan for driving more dollars into the classroom after his Bureau of Motor Vehicles consolidation plan," stated Laidlaw.
He continued, "Indiana closed license branches everywhere based mostly on which lease arrangements they could get out of and required patrons to drive somewhere else for their business. It was very efficient for the government to require patrons to drive 30 miles and more roundtrip to take care of a simple transaction."
"Our new initiative called, Driving More Money Into the Classroom, will be implemented following this model. It will require all patrons to drive their children to the bus driver's house every morning for transport to the school. This way we won't have half empty buses."
"We are laying down the law," said Laidlaw, "We have been absolutely appalled to learn that America's school buses have been running their bus routes at 50% capacity for half of the time!"