Feds tell governors to pick on someone their own size!
The Super's Blog has discovered a heretofore unknown top secret memo outlining a federal plan that would require governors to pick on someone their own size. Since a number of governors have been calling on schools to eliminate food with high sugar and fat content recently because of obesity concerns, congress is reportedly considering requiring all state houses to follow the same requirements they are foisting on schools.
Starting January 1, 2006 all state government offices will have the following restrictions.
1. All legislators will be weighed and measured annually and their height and weight statistics will be mailed in a report card to all voters.
2. All elevators will be turned off. Some say a few never reached the top floor anyway.
3. All legislators will carry a free and reduced lunch magnetic swipe card issued from their favorite lobbyist of course. A few had already swiped theirs.
4. All legislators will be required to walk around the building two times a day and do jumping jacks. They say a few didn't know jack anyway.
5. All legislators will be required to pick on someone their own size. That one might be tough.
6. All legislators are forbidden to utter the words, "biggie-size it."
Said federal congressperson, Ima Biggun, "We think this is the least we can do. At least this way state officials will have to put their money where their mouth is if they can't pick on someone their own size."