Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Press Conference: Indiana Governor Supports Change to Constitution

This is a rerun of a previous post. It is reposted today in response to the recent meeting of the Indiana Efficiency Commission in which a brief discussion was held about revisiting the original intent of the Indiana Constitution and what it has to say about education. I'll save them the trouble.

PRESS RELEASE: March 28, 2008 (Hint: Note date...this could be satire)

Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels, has announced his support for a bold new amendment to the Indiana Constitution. This amendment is purported to bring Indiana's system of public education more in line with the current administration's vision for public education.

Below is the current Indiana Constitutional language describing the "Common School System," established on February 10, 1851:

ARTICLE 8. Education
Section 1. Common school system

Section 1. Knowledge and learning, generally diffused throughout a community, being essential to the preservation of a free government; it should be the duty of the General Assembly to encourage, by all suitable means, moral, intellectual, scientific, and agricultural improvement; and provide, by law, for a general and uniform system of Common Schools, wherein tuition shall without charge, and equally open to all.

It has been widely reported, that Senator Flubbers will introduce legislation containing new language using the "strip and insert" process so popular this legislative session. The problem as usual, is finding bills "germane" to the topic.

When questioned, education policy advisor David Shame stated, "I didn't see a problem with any of the bills being "germane." The few bills I actually read all seemed to be in English."

The following language has been circulated in a leaked memo.

Proposed Constitutional Change/New Language on Education:

ARTICLE 8. Education

Section 1. Common and Uncommon school systems

Section 1: Knowledge and learning, general or specific, diffused or confused, throughout a community, being essential or nonessential to the preservation of a free or oppressive government; it might or might not be the duty of the General Assembly or General Disassembly, to encourage or discourage , by any or all suitable or unsuitable means, moral or immoral, intellectual or unintellectual , scientific or unscientific, agricultural improvement or lack of improvement; and provide or maybe-not-to-provide, by law or without laws, for a general or not-so-general, uniform or not-so-uniform system, or possibly no system at all, of Common or Uncommon Schools, wherein tuition most assuredly will be with charge and generally not equal or open to much of anyone, unless people of means or maybe, mean people.

A spokesperson close to the governor said on condition of anonymity, "Of course we believe in 'common schools.' The Governor just has a different VISION and understanding of the word "common."

He added, "For goodness sakes people, that constitution was written clear back in 1851! We've changed our minds about the constitution being a founding document. We've now decided that the constitution is an evolving thing. You know, a 'living document'. He just believed that when he worked for the Hudson Institute. He's moved on."

To which national voucher advocates replied, "We like it, it works for us."

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

The long and short of it...

Press Release from Scott Foresman Publishing Company:

In a follow-up to yesterday's post, the publishing conglomerate, Scott Foresman Incorporated, announced today its hostile takeover of the company Cliff Notes.

Scott Foresman spokesperson, I. M. A. Bridged, stated, "We have accepted the fact that in today's MTV world our busy teens do not have time to read the full versions of our literature texts. Between ball practice, and the evening shift at Burger Death, they simply cannot leverage the time to read full text literature.

Our vision is to deliver the Cliff Notes versions of the classic literature most often assigned by today's English teachers, in text messages over cell phones. These short versions can also be downloaded in MP3 sound bites to iPods for auditory review before tests and quizzes."

Cliff was unavailable for comment and was widely reported to be enjoying his new found wealth by curling up with a good book.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Are their attention spans really THAT short?

Over at Get Schooled, Friday, it was posted that a textbook rep was marketing their "short version" stories because of the students "short attention" spans.

I hate to think that we have to use abridged versions of the classics because we think students can't pay attention long enough to read them.

If we use abridged versions of everything don't we just expand their short attention spans?